The Kitchen Table Test

To say that I like "How I Met Your Mother" could qualify as a nominee for the Understatement of the Year award.  It would be almost like saying Ted likes Star Wars.  I'm a little bit completely obsessed.  If you aren't, you either haven't seen it because you live in a third world country (in which case please leave a comment telling me how you found and are reading my blog) or you have been mistakenly watching the wrong show.  These are the only possibilities.  (There's also the very remote chance that you've seen it and don't like it, but, to be frank, I'm writing this blog for people who aren't cold humorless monsters.)

I've been rewatching the series from the beginning over the last several weeks and today I watched an episode in which Ted finds out that Lily has been sabotaging his relationships for years.  As part of her confession, Lily tells him that the girls she did this with failed what she called the Front Porch Test.

Basically, Lily and Marshall (who, for those of you in third world countries, are married) have been best friends with Ted since college.  Lily makes the rather reasonable assumption that they will be very good friends for their entire lives.  Thus, she considers their futures through this Front Porch Test.  She pictures the four of them (Marshall, Lily, Ted, and whoever the girl happens to be that week) on the front porch of one of their houses in the distant future.  If she doesn't like the way the scenario plays out, that girl has failed the Front Porch Test.

This got me thinking.  (Because, let's face it, what doesn't?)  I have a similar test.  However, it's not really with my friends.  Older Ted as the narrator of the story refers to all the other characters in the core cast as "uncles" and "aunts".  They are family.  Like them, I have a test with my family.  It's not a Front Porch Test.  We don't really spend much time on the porch.

For my family, it's the Kitchen Table Test.

My family ROCKS!  Seriously, they rock.  Actually, "rock" is being modest.  My family is the MOST AWESOMEST!!!  So, as Lily put it, "whoever you marry, whoever joins Team Awesome . . . the bar's set pretty high."

I didn't realize just how high that bar was set until someone passed the Kitchen Table Test.

My family spends a lot of time together.  (And really, who could blame us?  I mean, we're awesome!)  We not only love each other, but (most days) we genuinely LIKE each other.  I thought this was how all families were for the longest time.  I've since realized just how blessed I am.  Anyway, the ultimate culmination of our time spent together is dinner.  Dinner has long been a sacred tradition in my family.  It (almost) always takes place around the kitchen table and is one of the most fun things anyone can do, as far as I'm concerned.  My mom is a MAGNANIMOUS cook!  Between that and the fact that everyone in my family is classically trained in the great art of conversation (Yes, there are still people good at that.) family dinners are almost as awesome as we are.

However, I could easily see how family dinners with us could be intimidating for some people.  It's hard to be surrounded by that much awesomeness.  But for me, anyone who's going to join our family has to be able to not only survive, but thrive in that setting.

This is the Kitchen Table Test.

I have a really good imagination and generally I'm at least decent at reading people.  Thanks to these skills, I can usually run the Kitchen Table Test in my mind if I've spent enough time around the person.  However, it's even better if we can run the test live.  Needless to say, not many people have passed the test.  Even less have passed the test in person.

One has.

My sister-in-law, Wonder Woman, is pretty great.  I have a theory that if I spend enough time with almost anyone, I will grow to hate them.  Wonder Woman and I are both majoring in math at the same school.  Thank to this little "coincidence" we have class together every day of the week.  Consistently after class, we find time to talk to each other.  Basically, I'm spending time with this girl every day of the week, and I still don't hate her.  That's pretty impressive into and of itself.

She's actually the reason I realized the importance of the Kitchen Table Test.  I remember the first time my brother, Superman, brought her home for dinner with all of us.  We immediately jumped in and were our usual awesome selves.  I don't know how she felt about that dinner, but all of us could tell there was something special there.  It takes a special kind of person to hold up under those conditions.  She passed with flying colors.

Throughout our time with her, she's managed to weasel her way into all of our hearts.  And, like everyone who will pass the Kitchen Table Test, we not only love her, we LIKE her.  My sister, Goober, has even gone so far as to deem her a saint (with reciprocity, of course).

Superman, Wonder Woman, Goober, and I hang out pretty regularly.  We like spending time around each other.  In fact, they're all definitely among my favorite people to be around, not just as a group, but as individuals.  I, and I suspect I'm not the only one, have come to realize that whoever Goober and I end up with will have to pass all of these tests.  We will all have to like them.  We will all have to be not only willing, but excited about hanging out with them.

And most importantly, they will have to pass the Kitchen Table Test.

What's you test?