You Know What's Stupid? (The title of this article is in no way meant to reflect the author's belief that humans are intellectually inferior to dolphins.)

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!

Homosexuality is an abomination!

Homosexuality is natural!

Abortion is a woman's choice!

Abortion is murder!

Great.  Now that I've sufficiently offended everyone and taken political correctness off the table, maybe I can actually get down to saying something worth saying.  And here it is:

Everyone is in the wrong.

I'll start with where everyone else seems to be this morning:

Duck Dynasty

Basically (for those who haven't heard and are too lazy to read the article above), Phil Robertson said some things in an interview that were considered offensive to the GLBT (That stands for gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual for you kiddos reading!  Ask your parents about those words!  They'll love it!)(The previous parenthetical statement may be taken as honest or sarcastic.  Whichever one offends you more.) community, and has been taken off of Duck Dynasty indefinitely by its network, A&E, who is a supporter of the GLBT community.

Let's start from where most people in my life are sitting:

A&E:  You are stupid.

Look at what A&E has done:  They made a right-wing, conservative Christian family into celebrities and then were shocked when they expressed beliefs contradictory to more liberal ideas.  What did you expect?  Something like this was bound to happen.  The Bible does have verses that say that homosexuality is wrong.  The one that Phil Robertson paraphrased was 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 in which the author says in no uncertain terms that homosexual men (It really doesn't say anything about women, so you gals are good to go!) will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.  The Robertson family has never done anything to suggest that they are anything but firm believers in the Bible.  Is anyone really surprised that Phil said something that lined up with the traditional interpretation of scripture?

Now the other direction:

Phil Robertson (but more so, anyone surprised by his suspension):  You are stupid.

Look at what the Robertsons did:  They, as a right-wing, conservative Christian family, got into business with a company that is a self-proclaimed "supporter and champion of the LGBT community".  What did you expect?  Something like this was bound to happen.  Television companies have to be very careful about what they put on their stations.  More importantly, however, they have to make sure that whatever they air lines up with their core beliefs as a company.  As a company that believes in tolerance and acceptance, they have a moral obligation to do something about one of their biggest stars saying something so powerfully against their values.  Is anyone really surprised that A&E took Phil off the air for saying something that was incredibly offensive to their audience?

This situation was bound to happen eventually.  Why is ANYONE surprised about what happened?!

Political correctness has gone too far.  I'm all for being open and accepting, but come one, people.  Chill out.  These aren't new ideas!  In fact, these ideas have been around for a while!

The idea that marriage is for love is an incredibly recent development in society.  In all honesty, marriage was for centuries a sort of political union solidified by children.  The first people to have marriages were royalty and they were for just that reason.  In as late as the 18th century, extra-marital affairs and not marriages were considered the highest form of romantic love.  By this interpretation of marriage, homosexual marriage is stupid and a waste.  On the other side of that coin, however, that isn't what marriage is anymore.  Marriage is a public declaration of love and a legal joining of households.  If you want to marry any other legally recognized, consenting, sentient being, go for it!

The idea of homosexuality, however, also isn't anything new.  In ancient Greece, including Sparta and Athens, women were considered to be for making babies.  You didn't have sex with your wife because it was enjoyable.  You had sex with your wife because it was your civic duty to propagate your family line.  Other men were there for your enjoyment.  On the other side of that coin, however, homosexuality did disappear for a while with the rise of Christianity.  For many years, it was accepted as deviant behavior.  It's gonna take a while before Christians ever relent on that.  Get used to it.

Creationism isn't science.  You don't believe in evolution or the big bang?  Fine.  But they are science.  If you can't accept that, homeschool your children.  The idea that creationism should be taught in public schools is really just silly.  Do you also want your child to be taught that Farakrea the Great Celestial Sloth, vomited the world into existence?  What if that's what I believe?  Hmmmm?  Don't I have a right to let my children learn that as science?  Hmmmm?!  (The previous statement regarding Farakrea the Great Celestial Sloth should be regarded as an example of how strange creationism seems to those who do not believe it and not a statement of belief on the part of the author or any sane person on Earth.)

While I'm angsting about that:  I was once presented with the argument that evolution is a ridiculous theory because humans have never observed it happen.  Duh.  The earliest written record dates to the 6th century BC (or BCE depending on whether we're being politically correct or traditional).  That means that all of recorded human history has taken place over about 27,000 years.  According to scientists who support the big bang theory and evolution, Earth is roughly 4,540,000,000 years old.  That means that humans have observed approximately 0.0006% of the Earth's life.  That means that if you condensed the Earth's life down to a year, humans wrote stuff down for the last 3 minutes.  I know you didn't work a single day last year because you slept through my New Year's Eve party.  You lazy jerk!

Forcing political correctness is the same thing as imposing your beliefs on others.  You are forcing me to say that what you believe is equally valid to what I believe.  Honestly, some of the things you believe are just dumb.  While I'm riding that train of thought, in some circles, it's now becoming politically incorrect to be politically correct.  I'm looking at you "You better say Merry Christmas" people!

How to Spread the Christmas Spirit

If I want to say Happy Holidays, I'm going to!  I want all of your holidays to be happy!  It really is a bummer to not be happy on any given holiday.  I want you to have a Merry Christmas, but I also want you to have a happy Hanukka, Kwanzaa, Eid al-Fitr, Thanksgiving, New Years, Boxing Day, Eat-a-Red-Apple Day, Humbug Day, Maple Syrup Day, Ninja Day, Monkey Day, Make-A-Cut-Out-Snowflake Day, and, most importantly, Bacon Day!  If I thought I could keep your attention long enough to wish you all of those, I would, but there just isn't time to do that with everyone you meet.  It's so much easier to say "Happy Holidays".  This time of year has so much to celebrate, why are you limiting yourself?

Happy Holidays and Other Four Letter Words

To those of you who are reading this and realizing how wishy-washy and noncommittal I'm being about whether anyone is right or wrong with their particular political correctness (except maybe teaching creationism as science), it's because I have one very simple point here:

Everyone is in the wrong.

No matter what you do, you're going to offend someone.  Get used to it.  Get over it.  Now get on with your life, and enjoy all that this rich, complicated, fascinating world has to offer you!







Update (like five minutes later):  Also this:  Tolerance.  That is all.