Relationships are like fat people. Most of them don't work out.
Men and women alike have griped for years about how the opposite sex is the responsible for the fact that they can't have a relationship. Women complain that men are all jerks. Men complain that women only like jerks and "nice guys finish last". I bring it up, because in the last few minutes I have come across several websites discussing both sides. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Before people gripe at me (since my readers are obviously the most vocal people on the planet, he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm), yes. I realize both of those are tearing apart the girl side of it, but that's just because they're funnier. I did a search to try and find some good ones for the other side of the debate. All I found were advice websites. None were funny.
However, several weeks ago, I did find a website that took a different and brilliant approach to the whole debate. I'll be honest. I've been waiting to use this link since I started this blog:
I realize it's a long article. Just skim it. Most of the text is just him explaining how he got the numbers he did. For those interested in a boyfriend instead, the theory works in reverse. The basic summary is that less than one percent of the female population is "dateable" as a girlfriend. Unfortunately, though, this problem is bigger than numbers, and that article is really just another excuse about why things aren't your fault.
Here's what things come down to folks:
- Stereotypes exist for a reason.
- A stereotype does not suggest an absolute truth.
- Get over yourself!!!
There is hope!
I love the show "How I Met Your Mother". If you haven't seen it, I'm sorry. Go watch it. I can almost guarantee it comes on your television at some point, and if not go online.
In "How I Met Your Mother", Barney embodies the stereotypical jerk. He uses and abuses women for his own . . . I'm gonna use the word benefit. He is, however, very charming and very aggressive when chasing women. Ted, on the other hand, is the "nice guy". Were it not for the fact that the entire show is based around the premise that this is the story of Ted meeting his wife, you might would get the impression that nice guys really do finish last. However, if you watch the show, when they are at the bar, Barney is always hitting on someone, while Ted is sitting at their booth often talking about his failed dates.
Ladies, you want advice on finding a guy that's not a jerk? Don't wait around at a bar for some guy to talk to you! Go over and talk to the guy sitting alone in the corner booth. He isn't really creepy looking or anything. Go talk to him! There's a good chance he's just too shy to talk to you. You don't want to be a victim? Quit waiting around to be used and abused!
Gentlemen, you want advice on getting that girl before some jerk does? Quit sitting around at the booth! Go talk to that girl! She doesn't want to date a jerk anymore than you want her to, so go talk to her. What do you have to lose? Your pride? If you really think about it, do any of us still have that? Really?
But to every silver lining, there is a cloud . . . or something like that.
Get over yourself! Ladies, chances are if you have been used and abused repeatedly, there is a reason for that. Gentlemen, chances are if you have been rejected again and again, there is a reason for that. Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't perfect?
Ultimately, you are responsible for your own decisions, both good and bad. This includes your decisions as to who to date or not date. Take responsibility for those decisions, and quit blaming the opposite sex.
The real question is, do actually want to change this part of your life? If you aren't doing anything to change it, maybe you like it the way it is.
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