It's been a while since I've given the world a glimpse "Beneath the Curls", mostly because I've been busy plotting a novel, writing stories on
another blog, and being lazy. But, world, I'm done.
I'm fed up . . . again. (We're all shocked.)
We've all seen the post on Facebook or email or whatever your version of social media is: "[insert picture here] is what REAL beauty looks like!" Generally these days, the inserted picture is of a girl that society would generally deem unattractive. Other versions put completely not comparable pictures next to each other and make you feel guilty for finding the clearly more physically attractive woman to be more beautiful. My favorite (
achoo!) version is the one that shows every type of figure imaginable EXCEPT the one that society deems beautiful. There are hundreds of variations that I just don't want to even include here, because I'm SO SICK of reading them!!!
Here's the deal, folks. Society has decided that that is what physical beauty looks like. Get over it.
I'm not saying that you aren't beautiful if you don't look like that. I'm simply saying that until the next shift in society's view of physical beauty, the general populace will not truly and objectively consider you physically beautiful. There was a time when full-figured women were considered the pinnacle of human perfection. (Look up pictures of Aphrodite sometime. That chick ain't scrawny.) There was a time when it was beautiful for a woman to have the world's tiniest waste supported by the world's largest hips. (Hence, corsets and poofy dresses.)
There was a time when fat men who covered their odor with a thick cloud of perfume were sexy. (Ben Franklin was a stud.) That's right. This all applies to guys too.
The fact of the matter is that "sexy", right now, is a slim, fit look for girls, and a toned beefcake look for guys. Your time may come. Then again, it may not. Chances are, a massive shift isn't going to all of a sudden happen in our lifetime and I can almost guarantee there won't be two massive shifts in our lifetime. Posting stuff on Facebook is not going to help the situation.
In fact, posting stuff like this on Facebook is actually perpetuating the situation.
We all know what these posts are trying to tell us. They're trying to tell us that beauty is what's on the inside and not what's on the outside. But here's the deal: That's not what they're saying.
When you look at pictures of two people, one extremely physically beautiful and one clearly not fitting society's view of perfection, you know which one is beautiful. You can read the caption on it over and over and over, but you will still know which one is hotter. Assuming for the moment that the caption is even acknowledged by our judgemental brains, what these posts actually say is, "Look how ugly this person is compared to this person. The ugly one is brilliant or nice, and the hot one is stupid or mean." At best, what the posts say is, "This person is ugly and this person is hot, but you can't tell what their personalities are like."
Note that they are still described as "ugly" and "hot" by the subconscious bowls of our minds, because that is still how the post is defining them. All you're actually doing by continuing to send out these posts is perpetuating the definition of people as "hot" or "ugly".
There is a glimmer of hope, though.
If you'll notice, most of what I've talked about so far is society's definition of beauty. But beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder.
You will never find a single person that is universally viewed as physically perfection. If you ever do find that person, I beg you to get me their number. Guy or girl, get me their number. I will make them famous! Or my wife! Or I will just creep them out! There is no one person out there who is physically attractive to everybody. But, everyone is physically attractive to somebody. Or (more accurately) can be physically attractive to somebody.
You see, the human mind is a fickle bitch. One second you hate someone, the next you love them, the next you can't remember their name. Your perception of the world around you is constantly being altered. You can look at someone, find them physically repulsive, then get to know them and find them a little less grotesque.
Yes. Your perception of someone's physical beauty can be altered by their personality.
It's science!
Now, I can't speak for girls or gays, but I do have some experience as a heterosexual male who occasionally carries on conversations with other heterosexual males, so listen up. The absolute most attractive thing a girl can have in her personality is attraction toward you.
There is nothing hotter than someone who wants you as badly as you want them. Guys like when girls play hard to get? Maybe. But, contrary to what many Romantic Comedies will tell you, only if they know she's into him. We're lazy creatures evolutionarily programmed to propagate our species (which is actually the entire foundation of physical attractiveness). Most guys aren't going to waste their time on an endeavour they know to be fruitless.
Which leads me to the next most attractive thing about a woman.
I was once told a story by a friend (who shall remain nameless for his own protection) about his girlfriend finding a dirty magazine in his room. She flipped out on him and babbled a long stream of word vomit consisting mostly of incomprehensible obscenities. Once he got her calmed down, he managed to weasel out of her that she actually felt threatened. She didn't realize it at first, but what really happened is this: She knew she could never live up to the girls pictured in the magazine, and since that was clearly what he wanted, she was quite certain that their break-up was inevitable.
He just laughed.
You see, ladies, guys may look at beautiful girls. They may check out the random chick down the street, gawk at a naked woman on TV (or anywhere else), or notice that your bestfriend has great legs (or other parts). But if that is YOUR man, you have one incredibly attractive thing going for you that none of those other girls have: You're there! The average guy is going to pick the average girl that's there over the insanely gorgeous supermodel a thousand miles way any day.
As I said before, we're lazy creatures.
Pure, cold, objective beauty isn't everything. There are SO many factors that figure in to what an individual finds attractive. I had a crush on the pink Power Ranger when I was little, so girls automatically become more attractive when they where that shade of pink. Or when they play the violin. (Not sure where that one came from.) Merely walking a few feet closer to someone can completely change your view of them. Getting to know them on a deeper level CERTAINLY will. Telling someone that you like them? Well that could just drive them up the wall.
If you want a different perspective on this (e.g. a female perspective), here is an article that my sister shared on Facebook that I can almost entirely support (that's among the highest compliments in my repertoire):
Quit sharing the posts about what REAL beauty is. Especially, quit sharing the posts that include pictures. It's insulting to everyone involved, especially the people in the pictures. You can't pin down what "real beauty" is, because it's different for each person. We each have our own image of a "perfect" someone that doesn't actually exist.
For me, it's a girl in pink playing the violin after doing something sciencey and telling me about a controversial/thought-provoking new idea she had.
She also has a British accent.
And she brought me chocolate cake earlier that day.
