FUS RO DAH

At this moment, college students nationwide are charging headlong into finals.  Personally, I'm sitting here at the end of dead day.  For most people, this is a day of intense studying and preparation for these extremely difficult tests that . . . ACHOO!!!  Wow, I got farther through that sentence than I thought I would.

Let's be honest, whatever the intention of dead day, studying is boring and even when we're studying, we're looking for a distraction.  I am even now finding distractions from things I should be doing.  Specifically, I'm not writing a paper for my Ancient Technology class.  Throughout the second half of this semester, I've found one of the most effective means of distracting myself that has possibly ever existed (as if I actually needed help getting distracted).  Skyrim.

Skyrim is a role-play game for the Xbox.  Generally RPGs have a general story line and a few side quests that effectively distract you from the main quest (that way you can be distracted from your distraction).  This particular game is INSANE!!!  There are so many side quests and changeable features that you can play several different times with several different results.  There's a huge map that is entirely explorable.  You can just walk around the world of Syrim for hours even days and still discover things you've never seen.  It makes it incredibly easy to get distracted over and over again.

I was first told about this game by my bestestest friend in the entire world, DJ.  He first told me about it quite a while ago and then let me comendere his Xbox the weekend it came out and start my first character.  Unfortunately for me, my roommate also has the game.  I have made two more characters since that weekend.  I love my first one to death.  I would hate to meet my second one down a dark alley.  I hate my third one.

For the next few paragraphs to make any sense, you're going to need some background on the story of the game.  In order for the background of the story to make much sense, there are some things you need to know.  There are several species of playable characters in the game.  There are the cat-like Khajiit, the lizard-looking Argonians, Orcs, a few species of Elves, and several breeds of humans.  The only playable race native to Skyrim are the Nords, a race of humans very similar to the Norse of our world.

Skyrim is a province of a continent called Tamriel.  Tamriel is governed by an empire.  Skyrim is ruled over by a high king who is generally allowed to rule by the Emperor.  Sometime before the start of the game, a man called Ulfric killed the high king and instigated a civil war between his followers, known as Stormcloaks, and the Imperial Legion.  The Stormcloaks' goal (ignoring the political issue of whether or not Ulfric wants to be high king) is to reclaim Skyrim for the Nords.  They view all other races as inferior.  At the start of the game, the player's character is about to be executed by the Empire when a dragon attacks (dragons were thought to be extinct).  Through the course of the main quest, the player's character finds out that they are "Dragonborn,"  which means that they can use the power of dragons to convert their voice into various attacks and abilities and that it is their destiny to destroy the dragons.

FUS RO DAH is a shout the Dragonborn learns along the way.  Each shout is made of three words and FUS is the first word the Dragonborn will generally learn.  As you learn the other words it gets more powerful.  FUS RO DAH has the effect of sending out a blast that staggers your enemy (and anyone else in your way).  Here's a perfect example:

FUS RO DAH!!!

So there's the main quest line to destroy the dragons, the civil war (in which you can join either side or simply let them fight for eternity), and any other quest lines you feel like getting involved with.  That's about as summed up as I can make it.  If you think that sounds nerdy and complicated, try actually playing the game.  I really only got you up to the beginning of the game with that little summary.

The things I really want to talk about, though, are my characters.

My first character was a Khajiit.  As I worked with him, I realized that I preferred using magic or summoning something else to fight for me.  Because of this and the fact that I insisted on wearing the strongest armor I could find, DJ deemed him a "battle mage".  That term just made me love him more.  Naturally, with him, I joined the mage's college to improve my magic.  However, despite being my first and most loved character, he is on DJ's console and I haven't gotten to play much with him.

My second character is the one I've played with the most.  He's an Argonian and with him, I've travelled through time, been to the other side of death, become leader of a fighting group, joined up with an assassin's guild that tried to kill him three times, bought a house, gotten married, and saved the world.  We've been busy.  I have also gained an in-game (an often out-of-game) obsession through him with a race called the Daedra (demon-like creatures).  This is mostly because they have really cool weapons and gear.  Because of all that Daedric gear, he looks terrifying.

An interesting tidbit to remember about him:  Despite being an Argonian, his tale is his only feature that would let you distinguish him from human.  This is because he rarely if ever takes off a mask that he got from a Daedric prince.  I'll circle back to this later.

My third character is an Orc.  I dealt with him differently.  With him, I tried to define a character and then work with what that left me.  I have found that this severely limits my options with him.  About the only interesting thing I've done with him is join the imperial legion.

These characters have led me to some interesting discoveries that have less to do with Skyrim and more to do with you and me.  Brace yourselves.

FUS

I started thinking about why I like my first two characters so much and hate my third one.  By all rights, I should like the third one better.  After all, he's the one I deliberately had the most control over as I played because I wasn't as swept up in the story line.

Did you catch the end of that paragraph?  I wasn't swept up in the story line.

With my first two characters, I simply played the game and let my experiences therein define the character.  With my third one, I worked very hard to impose this character upon the world rather than let the world make the character.  As you go through quests and help (or hurt) people, you are given skills and weapons and apparel that help to make your character who they are.  By trying to impose my character upon this world, I found so much of the things that happened to simply be a waste.

Now let's flip it around.  Have you ever tried to force yourself into being someone?  How'd it work out for you?

Very rarely have I ever met someone who entered the world knowing who they were going to be.  Besides that, even when those people did know, they generally found themselves changing along the way and becoming something different.  If you try to force this character you've created upon the world, you may find many of your experiences to be wasted and a frustrating waste of time.  Instead if you let yourself get swept up in the story that is your life and allow all of your experiences to become a part of who you are, you'll find yourself to be a much richer character and you may enjoy your life more.

If you thought that was good, I'm just getting started.

RO

As I mentioned earlier, my second character is a bit of a Daedric enthusiast and as part of one of those quests, he received a mask.  Before I got the mask, I was fine with the way my character looked.  I could rock a helmet pretty well, but that mask changed everything.  Since then, he has worn some kind of mask at all times (unless the game forced me to do otherwise).

This led me to an interesting revelation about the character:  He hates the fact that he's an Argonian.

I've realized that this character has worked very hard to cover up every sign he can that he's an Argonian.  Up until I realized this, I hadn't touched the civil war.  My character went ahead and saved the world after leading what most people in this world would consider a full life, but the war raged on.  With the revelation of this twinge of self-loathing (which I have since decided my character doesn't even realize about himself), I decided that he should join with the Stormcloaks (who also have a hatred for all non-Nords), because he would identify with them.

Now, some of you are saying that I did with this character exactly what I said I hated about my first character.  Wrong!  The truth is that this situation is very different.  You see, I didn't try to force characteristics upon my character, but identified characteristics the story had forced upon him and acted on them.  Balance.

You see, acting on your characteristics is not a bad thing.  I know that I'm a sucker for characters and stories, so I read and watch movies and write and play ridiculous video games like Skyrim.  I never sat down and said, "I'm going to like stories."  No, I realized that for some reason, I like them, so I act on that.

This is where you meet the world.  Up to a point, the world is going to define you.  There's nothing wrong with letting it do so.  Despite what many people are saying these days, It's completely natural to allow the world to define you.  However, you must have some balance.  It's important to realize what the world has made you into so that you can either choose to act on or avoid certain characteristics.  If the world has turned you into a dark and hateful person, that's no excuse.  You have a responsibility to discover what the world has done to you and see yourself for who you are.  If you don't like what you see, you have a right to change things.

To review, we've seen two ends of the scale:  trying to force yourself upon the world and letting the world rule you.  Balance between the two is the key.

So what's the trick to balance?

In Bible studies with Preach'rman, he often talks about the characters involved in the stories.  We have spent large amounts of time trying to find those characters in us.  He refers to this as letting the Bible interpret us, or "meeting ourselves".  It's a very interesting concept, because I think so very few people have met themselves.  Very few people have identified who they are.  If you don't identify who you are, you're no better than those people that try to force themselves to be something they're not.

The trick to balance with my Argonian was identifying his self-hatred.  Had I not come to that realization, I probably wouldn't have taken a side in the civil war at all and missed out on a very interesting quest line.

The trick to balance in your life is living in between the ever-changing character the world has made you into and the ever-changing character you hope to become.

DAH

Today, I'm hoping to push you into living in that gray area.  Somewhere between who you planned to be and who you plan to be lies who you are.  So ask yourself this:

Where are you on the scale?  Is the world ruling you?  Are you trying to force yourself into being a character you're not?

Who are you?

Christ's Mass

Christmas is coming up faster than any of us would like to admit and with that comes the ever infamous debate over what Christmas is all about.

Personally, I'm sick of said debate.

We can argue for days on end over whether or not Christmas has become completely commercialized, but I, like so many others, am completely sick of the argument.  It feels like you can't follow any Christmas tradition these days without someone pointing out how commercialized the holiday has gotten.  I must admit, I've fallen prey to this trend as well.  I have, sadly, caught myself griping about the true meaning of Christmas being lost to the world, but has it?

The word Christmas quite simply comes from words meaning "Christ's Mass".  Very clever.  The Christ part is obvious.  Duh.  The mass part is pretty simple too.  It's the mass we've all heard of from the Catholic church.  In my opinion, you could even go a little more broad and say that "mass" simply refers to a group of people such as the group of people that gathered on the night of Christ's birth.  Thus, the "real meaning" of Christmas is a group of people gathering in the name of the messiah.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."  Matthew 18:20 (NIV)

Christmas has developed a large group of traditions.  These range from Christmas trees to going to church to eating Chinese food to creepy old guys watching you and sneaking into your house at night.  Not the least of these traditions is gift giving.  This is also the one that draws the most criticism.

I have been avoiding making my Christmas list for several weeks now.  I was asked for it back before Halloween and refused on principle.  I did, however, promise that I would "turn one in" before I went back to school this weekend.  The last couple of years, I've found it difficult to make a Christmas list because once I do, I realize well over half of my list is movies.  To me, that's not a bad thing.  I love movies!  However, I know I don't like buying people clothes for Christmas.  I think they're boring, and I have no fashion sense.  I'm sure there are probably other people who feel similarly about movies.

Because of this whole situation, I found myself falling back to the old standby:  Google.

You'd be amazed how many people across the Internet have asked the question, "What do I want for Christmas?"  You may be less surprised to learn that more often than not there's at least one smart alec (not my first choice of word) that pipes off some answer about being selfish and not caring about the real meaning of Christmas.  I read several of these simply because they got me annoyed (which more often than not seems to lead to some of my best blog posts).

As I was reading annoying people quoting the Bible and blubbering on and on about our self-centered society and blah blah blah, I realized that Christmas lists are not necessarily a sign of a selfish society.

What is the basis of Christmas lists?  Christmas presents.  How is giving someone a gift a sign of selfishness?  In fact, gift giving has become a major gathering point during the holiday season.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."  Matthew 18:20 (NIV)

If you've learned anything about Love Languages, you'll know that one of them is gifts.  Gifts show that you care enough to think about a person in advance and get them something.  Sometimes, people think about a person in advance and would love to get them a gift, but they don't know what to get them.  That's where Christmas lists come in.  Who knows what you want better than you do?

By giving gifts, you're showing love.  If you're gathering together to show love, is there anything closer to gathering in Christ's name?  If two people gather together to show love, are they not fully buying into the true meaning of Christmas?  Has Christmas been commercialized?  Probably, but no more than any other holiday.  Really, from what I can tell, "commercialized" to most people simply means wrapped in tradition.

Gift giving isn't commercialization.  It's gathering together in show love.  Gathering in Christ's name.  Being part of Christ's Mass.  Christmas.

You'll Be Gone and I'll Notice

Whatever part of my brain that is responsible for rational productive thinking seems to have been murdered this week by the part of my brain responsible for overthinking and complete ridiculocity.  Thankfully, I haven't had much homework to worry about.  Not so thankfully, I haven't had much homework to worry about.

I say thankfully because if I did have a ton of homework, I'm not so sure I could successfully finish it.  On the other hand, since I don't have hardly any homework, I'm left with a ton of time to indulge that murderous irrational piece of my brain that has staged one of the most successful coups in history and is in complete control.  I've tried to fill up the murder's time with story writing (as that is its typical function), but that seems unsuccessful.  The only thing that seems to keep it at bay and prevent it from going complete serial killer on my vital functions is indulging its persistent endless trains of thought.

Guess what?  Since you're reading this, you're now trapped on a high speed train with the previously mentioned serial killer.  Choo-choo!

I have thought for years that I am a heartless monster.  Those that know me best are saying, "No!  You're sweet and loving!"  While those that know me best are saying, "Yup.  That's about right."  Thanks to the seditious Overthought (which I have now decided to call him), I have decided otherwise.

My first hint that I am not a heartless monster came along with the thoughts associated with yesterday's post.  I thought for the longest time that I was a heartless monster because I couldn't write love stories, I had no heart.  When I discovered that this had nothing to do with the love involved and more to do with boredom, I was satisfied and decided that I might have a heart.

But there were other arguments involved.

Unfortunately, my body requires sleep which means that I can't stay up all night writing here.  That means that I don't have enough time to discuss all of the many reasons and examples as to my theory of heartlessness.  I do, however, have time to debunk one.

This summer I revealed to a group of people just how heartless of a monster I am by pointing out that other than my family, I had only ever missed four people.  You may now fight amongst yourselves as to who those people are.  When you're done trying to figure out if you're one of those special few, I'll continue and make the world make sense again.  No, no.  It's ok.  Take your time.

 . . .

 . . .

Are you done crying yet?  Thank goodness.  I don't really feel like dealing with that while talking about how I'm not a heartless monster.  That's just too much work.

I only just recently realized why "I don't miss people" while other people do.  It's really a very simple solution.  Other people don't miss people either!  I'll now give you some time to have your little hissy fit about how so-and-so does too miss you and how you really miss so-and-so.  Go on.  Have your tantrum.

 . . .

 . . .

Finished?  Great.

My firm belief is that people don't know what it means to miss someone.  No one has ever, in my opinion, explained society's view of the phrase "I'm going to miss you" better than The Big Bang Theory.  If you've never seen The Big Bang Theory, you should immediately stop reading, go to the mirror, look yourself in the eye and inform your brain that you have been depriving it, return to your computer and Google it.  You will eventually discover more than one website where you can watch full episodes online.  Come back when you're done.

In one episode (the season two finale if I recall correctly (which I normally do)), Leonard goes to tell Penny that he will be taking a trip to the North Pole for a scientific expedition.  When he tells her, one of her responses is "Oh, I'm gonna miss you."  Later in the episode, Leonard returns to ask Penny what she meant by that.  Her response was "I don't know.  You'll be gone and I'll notice."

That about sums up what I can only figure is most people's view of the phrase "I miss you."  To most people most of the time it means "I noticed you weren't around."  In all actuality, they're perfectly accurate with the definition:

"To discover or regret the loss or absence of," World English Dictionary

The "miss" in "I miss you" is, most of the time, "to discover the absence of."  In that respect, I miss my million dollars.  I miss my wings.  I miss my nine-foot-tall labradoodle, Crackers.

I, having a brain that doesn't exactly work in the same way as most people, tend to reserve the word "miss" for the definition "to regret the loss of."  When I say "I miss so-and-so" I am taking note of a legitimate feeling of loss in my life.  I legitimately feel like something important is missing when that person is not around.  Those four people that I said earlier I missed were people that at various times were crucial pillars of my emotional stability for one reason or another, and, without them, I felt like something deep inside me was not being properly supported.

Suddenly the word "miss" is a little less frivolous.  Don't you think?

There's a reason why I say I don't miss people.  I used to think that other people understood "miss" the same way I did.  It was not until very recently that I realized I'm not a heartless monster.  It's not that I miss people less than others.  It's simply that I put a lot more value on the word.  Do I notice people's absence?  Yes.  Does my mind immediately jump to "I miss that person"?  No.

Now, as usual, it's time to turn this train around a little bit.  You've ridden this long with Overthought and now it's time to turn the reins over to you.  (Don't ask why the train has reins)  Who in your life do you really miss?  I'm not talking about "discover the absence of".  I'm talking about "regret the loss of".

Who are those people in your life that, when they aren't around, leave a gaping human-shaped hole in your life that it seems only they can fill?

Love in Literature

This week, my brain's been in overdrive.  I can't yet give you a reason as to why, though spend enough time thinking about why you're thinking and you'll come to some interesting conclusions.

My brain forcing me to spend unhealthy amounts of time thinking about everything in my life wouldn't be such a bad thing if it were letting me follow these extremely long trains of thought to something that I can actually post here.  Unfortunately, my brain is train hopping.  Before it gets to a depot, it hops onto a passing train and heads off in a different direction.  It's very disorienting.

One of the things my brain finally settled on was an unfortunate almost promise I made to someone this summer.  I said that I would attempt to write a love story.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  It should not be this difficult!  Unfortunately, love itself has basically become a cliche in our society and is so expected in stories that I can't abide it.  When we meet a guy and a girl in a story, we immediately start trying to figure out how they're going to end up together.  You can try to subvert expectations in so many ways, but love in literature is as disgustingly predictable as a dog peeing on a fire hydrant.  It's just what you expect.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Some people have very unpredictable lives and need escape from that in the stability of a cliched story line with stock characters you already know.  This is why there is a genre of movies called the chick flick and a genre of literature known as "the marriage plot" which, unfortunately, I took an entire semester studying.  Trust me.  It's cliched and boring.

Before you scream at your computer screen and say that just because something is cliched doesn't mean it's boring, I completely agree with you.  I am not suggesting causation, merely correlation.  In this case, romance stories are not only cliched and not only boring, but cliched AND boring.

I finally came to the realization today that this is exactly why I have so much trouble writing love stories.  They're predictable.  I don't like writing predictable.  I have been desperately working today to try and find a way to make the story unpredictable (particularly the ending) but as soon as I introduce a guy and a girl, the first thought of everyone who read love stories is, "O-M-G!  They would be SOOOOO cute together!"  (Insert wrist flick here.)  I honestly thought for a while about doing a guy-guy or girl-girl love story for the pure unpredictability of it, but I just couldn't bring myself to write it.

Giving up on the possibility of being unpredictable, I went for intentionally cliched.  That ended up not being much better.  I got so bored with it that my narrator ended up doing a linguistic commentary on the phrase "once upon a time" which, despite being very interesting, did nothing to move the story along and was really rather boring and pointless when I reread it.

I haven't given up yet.  I still think it's possible for me to write a love story, it'll just take some time and lots of tries.  To the person that I said would get it as a birthday present:  Sorry.  I know I missed it a while ago, but you're going to have to wait for Christmas . . . possibly Christmas NEXT year!

I'm open to suggestions on a way to go about ways to make a romance unpredictable.  If I ever come up with a love story that I'm happy with, my readers here will be among the first to know.

In the interest of leaving you with something other than my frustrations (and instead leaving you with frustrations of you own), ask yourself this:  Is there something in your life that has become so predictable it's boring?  Are you ok with that?  Can you change it?  Should you change it?







P.S.  I got an email today from my Cyberstalker that had an attachment on it with the first submissions for the challenge I submitted a little while ago.  For those of you that forgot, I'm looking for writings about writer's block.  It can be poems, stories, prose, or anything else you can think of.  I'm working on a page for my website on which I intend to include any and all submissions I get.  It's not too late to submit (especially seeing as how I only just got my first submissions).

Illuminating the Path

I was listening to a radio show this evening.  I know.  Try not to die of shock.  Anyway, the host ended up somehow on a tangent talking about how the Bible is like a GPS.  He was saying that you need to know where you're going before it'll work for you and that most people don't really know where they're going.  I thought this was an incredibly weak and obvious point.  BO-RING!  I instead got caught up on his opening line for this analogy.

He started by talking about using a GPS to get somewhere.  One of the first things he said was that you had to look up from the GPS every now and then, because if you got too into the GPS you would run off the road.  He said it as a joke and not as a point.  However, when he started comparing the Bible to a GPS, I made a connection back to that earlier comment that he never touched (and frankly is much more interesting than his intended point).

Let's combine the two.  The Bible is like a GPS.  You have to look up occasionally from the GPS to make sure you don't drive off the road.  Anyone made the connection yet?  You have to get out of the word occasionally!

I've noticed that a lot of the people who yell about God on street corners know their Bible very well.  However, I can't help but wonder if they know anything about any of the people they're trying to influence.  I then have to wonder if they're doing any good.  (For further thoughts on this, see The Jesus Scepter.)  Basically, they have their noses so far into the Bible, they can't see the world around them and they lose sight of their path.  They run off the road.

If you don't like this analogy, fine.  I have several problems with it to.  No parable is perfect.  I'm not sure that a GPS is really a good analogy for the Bible in the first place (even if it did make a good point).  For the best analogy for the Bible as far as I'm concerned, we must look in the Bible itself:

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."  Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

For those of you concerned, feel free to look at the context; I just don't feel like writing it all out.  Did you know Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the Bible?  Neither did I.  I'm not even entirely sure if that's true, but it's certainly interesting.

Notice that the verse says that God's word is a lamp for your feet.  It's a light.  It's not a map and its definitely the path itself.  A light is very unlike a map in that a light only shows you a small portion of the path.  You don't get the full picture or even directions.  You just get a little illumination for when you really need it.  Still, the point from the GPS analogy has some validity in this new perspective.

Have you ever stared into a lamp for a long time?  Try it right now if you haven't.  Look at a lamp or some bright light for a couple of seconds.  Now try to read.  It's not so easy to do with the dark blob in the middle of your vision.  Looking directly at it and only it doesn't really do you much good.  Staring at a lamp won't show you the path and may in fact hide the path from your vision.  On the other hand if you allow the lamp to reflect off of the world around you, you find that you can suddenly see better than ever before.

God's word can be the same way.  So often, people get bogged down in trying to "decode" the Bible.  They sit there and get so far into it that they are blind to the world around them, much like paying attention to the GPS.  Instead, we should let the lamp shine on the world around us.  Use that lamp to see the world anew and suddenly it has a real function.  Suddenly you can find your way.

At the same time, however, you don't really want to go walking around at night without a lamp, do you?  While it may seem pointless in the light, once it gets dark, you need something to shine so that you can know where you're going.  In the same way (I just used a Jesus line!) God's word may seem pointless when the path is laid out plain before you.  You may find that it a little distracting even.  However, when your life is cast into shadows, you're going to want you lamp back.  When you can't see your path, God's word can shed enough light on the situation to keep you moving.

So are you too busy staring at the light to see your way?  Are the dark blobs preventing you from seeing the world around you?  Or are you letting the light do its job by illuminating your path?

All Hallows' Eve

Today is Halloween in case you didn't realize.  Happy Halloween!

I didn't really celebrate Halloween this year.  I realized that unless you're into parting or are still young enough that it's ok to trick or treat, your only options as far as celebrating Halloween are things designed to scare you.  I have a frightening enough imagination without help.  That being said, principles have nothing to do with my lack of Halloween festivities.

I caught the very end of a show the other day that drives me nuts.  It's called the 700 Club.  It's an almost news program run by fundamentalist Christians.  I avoid it if at all possible, but it comes on right before the Who's Line is it Anyway reruns on ABC Family, so I occasionally catch the ending of it.  The other night, the host was asked whether or not it was moral to celebrate Halloween.  He very nonchalantly brushed the question aside with, "Of course it's not moral to celebrate Halloween, but here are some ways for your kids to get candy, which is all the really want anyway . . . "

If I wasn't already frustrated with the show, that would have solidified it.

I'll start from the end of his comment and work my way to the beginning.  Not all kids like Halloween just because of the candy.  When I was a kid, I would end up just putting my candy in the kitchen for everyone else to eat every year.  For me, the exciting part was dressing up in costumes and getting to be someone else for the night.  I tended to do that regularly anyway, and this was a night where it was not only accepted, but encouraged!  THAT's why Halloween was fun for me.  Candy's boring.

Now we step back a statement.  There's already a way for kids to get candy on Halloween.  It's called trick or treating!!!  Problem solved.

Now the kicker:  "Of course it's not moral to celebrate Halloween . . . "  Oh goodness.  Where do I begin?  These days, Halloween, like virtually every other holiday, is a secular holiday.  For most people, it's simply a day where they can get out of themselves, quit taking themselves so seriously, and have some fun.  These days, it doesn't encourage demon worship or Satanism or anything like that.  I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn't.

You could say that Halloween is wrong because it's a secular holiday, but then you have to take out all of the secular elements of Valentine's Day, Christmas, and Easter.  What are you left with then?

You could more easily argue that Halloween is wrong because of its origins.  It started out from the idea that on All Saints' Day, all of the good souls that had passed on would be remembered.  Thus, the evil spirits would come out the night before to attempt to ruin it.  The idea came about at some point that if you disguised yourself, the demons wouldn't be able to get you.  That's where costumes came from.  Thus, you could say that Halloween is evil because it's based in some distinctly non-(traditional)-Christian beliefs.  But, dear reader, there is another problem with this:  Christmas.

Did you know that the birth of Christ is only recorded in one of the four gospels.  Furthermore, it is generally agreed that his birth didn't occur during the winter.  So then why is this holiday celebrated when it is?  Pagan holidays.  There are many pagan holidays that occur during the winter.  Many of our modern traditions such as lights, greenery, carols, and gift giving are all drawn from other festivals such as the pagan Yule festival and Saturnalia which was thrown in honor of the Roman god Saturn.  Does that sound any more Christian than belief in satanic creatures trying to wreck a holy day?

If we go based on origins, you're gonna have to knock out a lot of Christmas traditions in the process of fighting Halloween.  When you agree that it's not moral to have a Christmas tree, I'll agree that it's not moral to celebrate Halloween.

Personally, I celebrated Halloween by writing a story about writer's block.  I don't have any idea what this has to do with Halloween, so don't ask.  As I couldn't get past the irony of writing about writer's block, I want more.  Thus, I am issuing a challenge.  Write about writer's block!  Whatever your medium of choice, I want to hear it!  Write poems, stories, essays, research papers, prose, whatever!  I will set aside a special section on my website for any submissions I receive and make sure to link to it here.

If you are interested in submitting something, email me here:

veebjamn@yahoo.com

I'm looking forward to reading what you guys have to write, and I'll be extremely disappointed if I don't get any submissions.  I might cry a little.  Just saying.

Why I Overthink

The question of the day is "why".  Remember that.

Whether you believe me or not, everything happens for a reason.  I'm not being deep and philosophical.  I'm not suggesting some large-scale cosmic plan in which everything is working toward some common purpose.  I'm being very literal.  Everything happens for a reason.

Here are some examples.

You overslept this morning.  Why?  Your alarm didn't go off at the right time.  Why?  Your phone thought that it was daylight savings time.  Why?  Your phone gets its time from the phone company which provided it with the wrong time.  Why?  The government changed the date for daylight savings time relatively recently and your phone company didn't properly update to account for it.  Thus, you overslept because your phone company wasn't paying attention.

You broke up with your significant other.  Why?  They cheated on you.  Why?  They didn't feel they were getting what they needed from you, so they found it elsewhere.  Why?  They didn't properly communicate with you about what they needed out of the relationship.  Why?  You didn't ask.  Thus, you broke up with your significant other because you didn't communicate with them.

You failed your test.  Why?  You didn't study.  Why?  You thought you understood the material.  Why?  You seemed to understand it all in class.  Why?  You only paid attention to the examples he showed you that were easy and zoned out during the harder ones.  Thus, you failed your test because you zoned out during class.

You see?  Everything happens for a reason.  You could stop before any of the "why"s in these sequences and use that as your reason for why something happened.  You could also follow these reasons up with more "why"s and get completely different reasons.

I said that "why" is the question of the day.  I don't think people ask this question enough.  Asking why something happened can help you make sure that it doesn't happen again.  It can also lead you to believe that nothing is your fault and that ultimately someone else is responsible for your actions.  I'm not going to tell you that . . . today.  Not asking "why" enough means you aren't getting the whole story.  Asking "why" too much will lead you to eliminate the possibility of free will.  That's scary.

The trick, as is so often the trick, is moderation.  You have to ask "why" enough to get to a point that you can do something about it.

In the oversleeping example above, it's easy to continue on and pin the blame on the phone company, but if you do that, there's not really anything you can do about it.  If you stop sooner and look at the fact that your phone didn't know the correct time because it gets its information from the company, you find that there's a solution:  set another alarm that doesn't rely on anything but its own power.

In the breaking up example, it's extremely easy to stop at your significant other cheating on you, but that doesn't help anything.  Continuing on allows you to see that in future relationships, you need better communication. 

In the test example, it's easy to stop at "you didn't study", but that probably won't fix this problem in the future because of that reason's "why".  If you think you understand the material, even if you do force yourself to study, you won't study well because you think you understand it.  By following this one further, you find that you are zoning out in class which is something you can change, it will just take some work and may require a few more "why"s to reverse.

On the way back to my dorm tonight, I was, as I have found I enjoy doing more than I care to admit, listening to a radio show where people call in and talk about their problems.  Tonight, however, I found myself very frustrated with the people on the show, because they didn't ask that beautiful question of the day.

Most of the people in the show tonight were calling about problems with relationships.  Either it was that they had broken up with their significant other or that their family didn't approve of said other.  In both cases, these people didn't ask "why".  Your girlfriend's family is upset with her suddenly after she moves in with you before the two of you get married.  Why?  Your boyfriend feels like he can communicate with his friend better than with you.  Why?  Your family is calling you a whore.  Why?

It was driving me nuts.

If you are a regular reader, you have probably learned by now that I have a tendency to overthink things.  I know that about myself.  I'm ok with that.  I'm telling you this for a reason.  Why?  I think being an overthinker is much better than an underthinker.  Why?  If you underthink, you may end up stuck with something you can't change.  If you overthink, you can always back up a few steps and find something you can change.

You can follow the "why"s all the way back to the beginning of time.  I did it once.  It was scary.  It creates a long, complicated chain that inevitably makes everything God's fault.  Unfortunately, that takes the situation out of your hands.  You can settle for that and assume that nothing is your fault or you can realize that a chain doesn't work if it's missing a link.

By breaking the chain at a single point, you eliminate the end of it.  All you have to do is find one link in the chain that you can cut, and you can avoid ever reaching the end of that chain again.

By setting another alarm, communicating in future relationships, and making sure you don't zone out in class, you break the chain and make sure you don't reach the endings of oversleeping, nasty break ups and failing tests.  You just have to find the one link you're strong enough to break.

Just ask "why".  Overthinking isn't as bad as you think.

What Other People Wish For

Last night at Bible study, Preach'rman, in addition to putting me onto a new philosophical bend, told a story.  It was one I had heard many times before in many different ways, and you probably have to.  However, I must insist on forcing you to read it at least once more:

There were three friends who were all in college.  One attended Texas Tech, one was from UT and one was an Aggie.  The three friends decided one afternoon to go out on a lake.  As they were out in their boat, a storm blew up around them.  There was thunder and lightning and they couldn't see the shore.  Coincidentally, a lamp happened to float by.  One of them picked up the lamp and a genie came out of it offering each of them one wish.

The Texas Tech student said, "I wish I were safe back in Lubbock."  Suddenly, he was back in his dorm on the Tech campus.

The UT student stepped up next and said, "I wish I were safe back in Austin."  Suddenly, he was back in his dorm on the UT campus.

The Aggie, looking around at the storm.  He saw the lightning and heard the thunder.  He felt the waves rocking the boat beneath him and he was utterly terrified.  This was even worse now that he was alone.  He looked around and said, "Boy, I'm scared!  I sure wish I had my friends back!"

At the end of Preach'rman telling this story, someone said, "Be careful what you wish for!"  My mom leaned over and wisely whispered to me, "Be careful what OTHER people wish for!"  I laughed.

This didn't really strike me as anything important until this afternoon as I was doing my defensive driving course.  (Don't ask!)  The part I was working on today was talking about drunk driving.  (No.  That has nothing to do with why I was taking the course.)  It told the story that so many of us have been exposed to before.  It was the story of the very pretty girl who was hit by a drunk driver and was horribly horribly scarred.  I won't force you to look at the pictures, but in case you don't remember, Google Jacqueline Saburido.

This story made me think back to Preach'rman's story and my mom's comment.

We talk a lot about how our choices affect others, but do we ever really stop to consider the implications of that statement?  If everyone's choices affect someone else, doesn't that mean that someone else's decisions are inevitably affecting you?

I have a website set as my homepage that offers a new sci-fi flash fiction every day.  In case you don't know, flash fiction is like short stories but shorter.  The most famous example of flash fiction is from Ernest Hemmingway.  His friends challenged him to write a story using only six words.  This was the result:

For sale:  baby shoes, never worn.

This has spawned an entire (wonderful) website:  SixWordStories.net.

Most flash fiction does not put quite such a limitation as six words, but the idea of brevity in the story telling is the idea.  In Hemmingway's example, he has characters, plot, and story.  It is, in my opinion, a beautiful example.  The idea of flash fiction is to get in, give the reader the story, and get out.  My homepage, 365 tomorrows, limits their submissions to 600 words.  As you have probably gathered from this blog, brevity is not my gift.  I have great respect for these authors.

Believe it or not, this does apply to what I was talking about.  Bear with me.

I say all of this to set up today's flash fiction from 365 tomorrows:  To The End of Time, Or Lisa.  As I was watching the thing about Jacqueline, I was reminded of this story.  Particularly, I was reminded of this quote from when he is talking to Lisa:

"Both of us live in a different instance of our universe, everyone does, but the funny thing is, ours overlap at this exact moment."

I was reminded of this quote, because, were it not for the man's drinking, his instance of the universe likely would never have overlapped with Jacqeline's.  Likely, they would never have met each other.  And yet, in that one cataclysmic moment, their worlds crossed and neither were ever the same after that.  I'll admit it's an extreme example, but usually those are the ones that make you start to look at the idea.

If we generalize this, every time you meet a person, your life intersects with theirs.  As such, however small the change, you are never the same again.  Simply their presence in your life, if nothing else, changes you in the fact that you have now come in contact with one more person.

Now consider this.  That person chose to take the path they did that caused the two of you to meet.  Had they not chosen that path, you would never have met, your worlds would never have crossed, and you would remain unaffected by the interaction that never happened.  Thus, their choice changed your life forever.  Every time your world meets someone else's, their choice has changed you forever.

Sometimes, the world isn't fair.  If it were, your choices would affect you.  You would only ever be punished for your own mistakes and no one would be able to change you but you.  However, this is not the way it is.  Other people's choices do affect you every day.  You may not be able to buy what you want at the store, because someone chose to buy the last one.  You may miss the light, because someone else decided to drive slowly.  You may be horribly scarred in a car accident, because someone else decided to drink and drive.

You may be dragged back into the middle of the storm, because some Aggie gets scared.

"Be careful what other people wish for."

Life really isn't fair.

The Big Four Nine

I just looked at my screen when I logged in to post tonight and realized that this is my 49th post.  That means the next time I post will be the big five o!  This is an exciting thing for me!  Why?  Well that is the question.

I thought about just accepting that hitting my 50th post was just a big milestone and leave it at that.  ACHOO!  Then I realized, that's incredibly boring!  I can do better than that!  So I started thinking, what makes the 50th post more important than the 49th?

I thought about several reasons for these ranging from cosmic allignments to linguistic history.  I finally settled on number theory.  It made the most sense and had some actual basis in fact.

Our number system is base ten.  In other words, we have ten digits (zero through nine).  This means that ten is the first two digit number.  100 is ten squared.  That automatically makes it seem important.  Our number system is based on the number ten and this is ten ten times!  This automatically makes 50 important because it's halfway to 100!  You see?  It almost pretends to make sense!  The 50th post must be important!

Then I started thinking about the reasons why 100 is important.  It's ten squared.  Then I realized that 49 is also a square.  49 is seven squared.  49 is seven seven times!  This makes it important.  Why?  I'll tell you!

Seven has long been acknowledged as a perfect number.  When God created the world he did so in seven days (including the day of rest . . . which one always should include).  There are seven colors in a rainbow.  There are seven days in a week.  James Bond is Agent 007.  Seven rocks!

Personally, I think seven is a cooler number than ten.  Seven is perfect.  Ten's about as ordinary as you can get.  Therefore, I have decided that my 49th post is more important than my 50th.  Who's to tell me I'm wrong?  Who gets to decide which numbers are more important?  My opinion is that my opinion is more important than whoever makes those kind of rules!

Happy 49th post, Beneath the Curls!!!

Mystery of Motivations

I realized recently just how little I've been posting lately.  I also looked back and said in several of my last posts that I would be posting more regularly.  That was a good one, wasn't it?

This has been one of the many things that has been on my mind lately.  Why haven't I been posting?  It's not that I don't have time.  It's not that I don't have thoughts.  It's not that I don't like doing it.  But back when I started, I would look forward to writing this all day.  I would think and plan about what I would write about that evening and plan my day so that I'd have time to write it.  Now, it's not the same for some reason.

Whenever all other techniques fail me, as they often do, I revert to my standard practice of overthinking it.  The mystery of my motivations (or lack there of) is no exception.  I have managed to narrow down my possible reasons to two possibilities:

1. I'm out of the swing of it.
2. Whatever reason I had for needing this blog is being better fulfilled.

I'll start with number one as it is a much simpler possible reason.

I've obviously gotten out of my habit of writing this every night.  That much is certain.  It's completely possible, however, that that's the only reason.  We humans, however inconsistent and unpredictable we may seem at times, are disgustingly consistent, predictable creatures of habit.  If writing a blog every night is not part of your routine, you probably won't do it.  If it is, it'll be difficult to not do it.

This summer, while I was working at camp, it was really difficult to have any kind of consistency in my posting.  As such, I went at least a solid eleven weeks with no consistent posting.  Supposedly, it takes six weeks to make or break a habit.  By the end of camp, I had broken this habit twice over.  With this in mind, it makes perfect sense that I haven't been writing.  It's no longer a habit or part of my routine, so I have only written when I've felt guilty about not writing or when I had a thought burning in me.

I so wish that my brain would let me stop there and accept that as an explanation of my motives:  Mystery solved!  In fact, I fully accepted this explanation for a while, but would my mind permanently accept this?

Of course not.

Thus, we come to possible explanation number two, AKA the psychologist's overly thought out and ALMOST plausible theory.

However possible, and likely, it is that I simply haven't been writing because I'm out of the habit, It's at least almost as possible that the reason I haven't been writing is deeper:  I haven't needed to.  Someone seriously over analyzing the situation (me) would say that I wouldn't have started writing this blog to begin with if I didn't need to for some reason.  Thus, the fact that I haven't been writing would suggest that this need either no longer applies to me or is being fulfilled in some other way.

Fortunately, I haven't been able to pin down any solid reason as to why I started this blog other than I had been wanting to for a long time.  Since I can't find any reason why I started it, I can't figure out how this need would be fulfilled.  I'm open to listening to any theories you have on the subject, but for now I'm satisfied with the fact that I can't find the thing that holds this whole theory together:  a reason.

Since I have (at least until someone comes up with a good reason to support number two) accepted number one, I must take responsibility for the fact that I haven't been writing.  Dang.

I won't give you the promises I have in the past.  I'm not going to say that I'm going to start writing more frequently, because we've all seen how well that's worked out lately.  If, however, I don't start writing regularly again, know that I haven't quit writing.  I'm still slowly chipping away at my novel, building a short story universe that I hope to put together into a novelette, and currently writing a Christmas puppet script.  I'm also, as soon as I finish this post, going to be looking at some other writing opportunities.

I'll do my best to write, but I make no promises.

I will give you a wholehearted, "we'll see!"  And is there really anything more than that that you can ask from anyone in this world?

Someone Else's Life

I just got back from Fall Break, one of the most wonderful times of the year.  I just had a four day weekend and I'm now coming back to classes halfway through the week.  I'm halfway done, and I haven't even started!

I spent this joyous four day weekend doing what so many of us do best:  NOTHING!  I spent the last two days reading and watching movies and TV.  What I find particularly interesting about the last couple of days is that I cannot, by any means of guilt I have thus far attempted, convince myself that it was a waste of time!  I spent my entire weekend sitting around without really DOING anything, and I can't help but consider it time well spent.  So, being my usual overthoughtful self, I must ask myself, why?

What is it about watching movies and reading books that allows me to consider it a positive use of my life?  I spent my car ride back tonight pondering this.

The best answer I've come up with is that I feel like I've accomplished something.  At the end of a movie or a book, I feel like I have done something worthy of my time.  What exactly did I do?  I sat on a couch and observed.  I know many people who would consider this a waste of time.  I also know these same people would cheerfully give up an entire day or two to watch a sporting event.  What exactly do you do their?  You stay in the stands and observe.

So what is it about observing these kind of things that makes us feel like we're doing something productive?  Why do people get excited when their football team scores?  Why do people get depressed when their baseball team is on a losing streak?  Why do people cry in movies or while reading books?  Think about it.  You aren't really a part of the football or baseball or basketball or cricket or rugby or curling team.  With the exception of gambling, their win or loss really doesn't affect your life.  You aren't really a part of the movie or a character in the book.  Whether or not the bad guy is killed or the guy ends up with the right girl will not change a thing about the way you go about your business the next day.  So why does it matter?

I finally came to what I call a conclusion for lack of a better word.  I was talking to my brother at a football game a couple of weeks ago about this very thing.  We were talking about why sports are such a successful and integral part of our lives.  What we ultimately said was that we need sports.  I would extend the same thing to movies and books.  We need them.  Why?  Because our lives are incredibly boring!

Most people spend their life going through the same routine every morning.  The go to work or school.  They see the same people, eat many of the same things, and generally do the same exact thing every day of their life.  Sports and movies allow us to get out some of our frustration with our lives.  We allow ourselves to live vicariously through these people on the field, court, screen, or page.  By observing their life, we put ourselves in their much more interesting shoes for long enough to maintain our sanity.  TV, movies, books, sports, and even celebrity gossip are so important to us because they let us live someone else's life which then makes our life seem that much more interesting.

Is this a bad thing?  Is it bad that so many people are focused on living through someone else?  Is it bad that most people spend a large chunk of their time trying to live in someone else's life?  You spend your time watching other people's lives on TV, reading other people's lives on Facebook, and even listening to and reading other people's thoughts on the news or on people's blogs.  Are you right now by reading this living your life or mine?  If you're living my life, is that a bad thing?

This is the point where I'm going to stop your leisurely stroll through my mind and force you back into your own.  Do you think living vicariously through someone else is a bad thing that should be changed, a good thing that should be left alone, or a necessary evil?  I'm not going to give you an answer.

Get out of my head and answer for yourself.

The Wicked Lion

Wow!  I hadn't realized how long it's been since I posted!

I really don't have anything particularly interesting to write right now, but I will be working very hard to give you something interesting to read over the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I'd like to talk about a thought/story that's been rattling around in my head long enough that I'm gonna have to do something about it soon.  I struck me as I was watching The Lion King in 3D.  On that note, I found it interesting that the 3D in this movie that was originally hand-drawn was significantly better than the modern Thor.

As I was watching the movie, I kept thinking about the musical (and apparently book) Wicked.  For those of you who don't know, the important thing about Wicked is that it twists the story of The Wizard of Oz so that the Wicked Witch of the West is the good guy and a victim of the "good guys" portrayed to us.  While watching The Lion King, I couldn't help but think about how easy it would be to do the same thing for Scar.  Since it has been several days and the idea continues to grip me, I feel I must act on it.

I've thought about several ways of writing it.  Right now I'm leaning toward doing it in an episodic style.  Basically, that would mean that I would write the story in smaller chunks that I would work very hard to get out on a regular basis rather than write it in one big push and have it out on the most dreaded of all days:  Someday.  I'll probably make that decision once I actually start writing it.

It should be an interesting project.

Rehumanizing the Christ Part III

In keeping with the precedent that I set forth in my last RtC, I will not be focusing on Jesus, but another figure in the Bible that I believe has become dehumanized.  This one, however, seems to have been dehumanized in the opposite direction from Jesus.  Where Jesus's emotions have been eliminated by society, this particular character's motives and emotions seem to have been distorted to a distinctly inhuman level.

Therefore, I humbly present for your consideration:

REHUMANIZING JONAH

We all know the story of Jonah, right?  Guy gets swallowed by a whale (let the "big fish" debate begin) and God gives him a second chance, blah blah blah.  In case you haven't read the story in a while, it's conveniently located in the book of Jonah in the Bible.  I'm not going to recount it here, because it's significantly more in depth than the summary I just gave and I'm going to be using some scrawny details for this.

I'm going to assume you've read it and press forward.

When God tells Jonah to go to Ninevah and preach against them, he had a vast and complicated run of emotions.  The Bible jumps immediately to Jonah running away, but let's think about it.  As best we can tell, Jonah was a prophet.  God telling him to go tell people that he wasn't happy with them was no big deal, so what was special about this one?  God was talking to someone other than the Israelites!

This meant a lot of things for Jonah.

Firstly, as many scholars have pointed out, the Ninevites were probably not on good terms with the Israelites.  Like any true patriot, in Jonah's mind, the world was better off without those pagans!  Jonah likely felt more than a twinge of excitement at the prospect of God being angry with Ninevah.  Finally, something would be done about those fish-slappers!  (Because VeggieTales is the most accurate portrayal of every Bible story ever told!)

Secondly, he would have to venture into a land where God was not recognized for the god that he is.  This message would be a lot harder to explain, because he would, in essence, have to explain God as well.  Have you ever had to explain God to someone?  It's not as easy of a thing to do as you might think.  Where do you start?  Do you jump straight to God is angry with you or do you start way back with "In the Beginning"?  Moreover, how would they react to the condemnation of a foreign God?  Would Jonah make it out alive?

Thirdly, we must combine these first two prospects.  Jonah would have to travel into foreign land and share God's message with those foreigners every self-respecting Israelite despised.  Go into an extremely fundamentalist Christian church and tell them that Muslims are going to heaven.  You're now in less than half as much danger as Jonah was in.  Imagine if someone found out where he had been told to go.  He would be shot down and chastised in so many ways for even considering sharing their God with gentiles.  It is possible he would even be cast out of society if he completed his task.

When you consider these last two, it's no wonder Jonah ran!  This wasn't a simple decision to run away.  It was a calculated move.  He thought it was his best shot.  His fear not only of the Ninevites, but of his own people far outweighed his desire to be obedient to God or his dark excitement about their condemnation.

I'm going to skip the part of the story that they taught you in Sunday School, because I think the VeggieTales version does an excellent job with this middle part.  Watch it.  It's worth it.

I'm going to skip to the end of the story.  This was actually my main inspiration for writing about Jonah.

After going into Ninevah and giving them a message that, interestingly enough, says nothing about God or his divine wrath, Ninevah repents.  Jonah, however, is angry.  All my life I was told that this was simply because Ninevah was Israel's enemy and Jonah wanted them destroyed (which is all he said in his message), but I was hit on Sunday with a powerful word that has caused people to become angrier over sillier things than Jonah:

Embarrassment.

Jonah had to have been embarrassed.  He had just spent three days going through the city telling everyone that it would be destroyed, and now God was changing him mind.  He did not say in his message that Ninevah would be destroyed unless they repent.  He simply said they would be destroyed.  How would it look if Ninevah was not destroyed?  Would he simply be a crazy person to the Ninevites?

Furthermore, he couldn't easily go back to the Israelites and tell them that God had spared Ninevah.  Then he would sound like a crazy person to them too.  Our vengeful, all-powerful God forgave a city full of sinful gentiles?  Preposterous!  You've been in the sun way too long!

He was now a crazy person by the accounts of both nations.  Where was he to go?  He had lost any sense of self-identity and dignity he had left.  What did he have left to live for?

The last straw came when God tried to teach Jonah a lesson.  After giving Jonah a plant to keep him comfortable, he took it away and made the conditions around Jonah even worse.  From Jonah's perspective, God teased him with a small taste of the comforts he had given up in obeying God's command to him and then pulled the rug out from under him.

Jonah's reaction of wanting to die was over more than just a plant.  He had given up his country and would not exactly be welcomed with open arms because he decided to share God with Ninevah.  He had been made out to be a fool when Ninevah was not destroyed.  Because he obeyed God, he was left alone and miserable in the middle of the desert, and now that very same God that was the cause of all his suffering had taken away the last blessing he had ever gotten from him!  After all this torment from following God's command, God had taken away what Jonah perceived to be his last bit of hope.

Jonah may have been wrong to say that it would be better for him to die, but can you say you would do differently if God ripped away your last shred of hope?

It's not such a simple story, now.  Is it?

Surprising Myself

Yesterday, I found myself beat over the head with inspiration.  I have found that when inspiration hits me that hard, I have to follow it before it leaves me.  You can read the resulting story here:

Merlin's Machine

Towards the end of the story, after the machine finishes and Brent starts dealing with the people, I messed up.  I really didn't mean for the story to go that way at the end.  I really like Brent, and I'm not sure whether or not this is the way I want him to go out.  If you haven't read any of my other stories, Brent is a recurring character in my stories that I have grown quite fond of.

I thought about it, and I realized that there are some possibilities I can still go with.

Before those of you who don't understand the creative process behind writing can offer the suggestion, no.  I can't change the ending.  Based on the characters I have created, the events I know are going on around the story, and the events in the story itself, that is the only possible ending.  I can't simply rewrite it and make everything ok.  If I rewrite everything, I will either come to the same result, or betray something deep within me.  There are ways to leave the story as is and repair the timeline so I'm happy with it, but the story stands.  It cannot be changed.  Especially the ending.

I also have several more stories based before this one where I can still use the character, so I don't have to give him up completely even if I don't use a loophole.

For those of you who are interested, there are currently seven stories that I have at least started that all relate to this wide reaching, surprisingly complex, storyline.  Five of them are currently on my website.  I'll be honest, I don't know everything that's going to happen, but I do know a lot more than I've said in the stories.

I actually have an unhealthily long list of questions that I haven't even answered myself.  I don't get to find out the answers to these questions until I write them.

It's a lot more exciting that way!

Second Nature

I just got back from a long weekend away, and I'm really tired.  I seriously debated about whether or not I was going to post at all.  Then, during my six hour drive back, I was struck by an odd thought that I need to get into writing before I forget it.  I figured you guys would at least pretend to be interested in it.

It all started when they read this verse on one of the programs I was listening to:

"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."  Matthew 6:3 (NIV)

Let me start off by saying that Matthew 6 is an absolutely amazing chapter of the Bible that you should go and read in its entirety right now.  It's chalk full of advice that the world as a whole has basically forgotten, including this little gem.

Basically, this verse is about not making a big deal about doing good works.  Imagine just how quiet you would have to keep your actions in order to prevent a part of your body from knowing what's going on.  THAT would be impressive.  It would be especially impressive in a world where there are so few truly good acts that whenever people do them, they feel like there should be a Hallelujah chorus and the entire world should pat them on the back.

That lesson, however, has been beaten to death by theologians across time.  You should know by now that I'm not really a fan of simply rehashing old ideas.

People often talk about doing your works in secret so that one hand doesn't know what the other is doing.  The thought that struck me tonight was this:  What is you did works so that one hand doesn't notice what the other is doing.

You are now probably thinking one of three things:

1. Ah, I understand.  You are most wise.
2. Dude, you just said the same thing twice!
3. There's no way he's gonna guess what I'm thinking!

If you are of the first persuasion, thank you.  I try.  If you are of the third persuasion, I got you you smart alecky little snot!  If you are of the second persuasion, I'll explain.  The key thing to notice between the two statements is what the one hand is not doing.  Look at them side by side:

Do good works so that the one hand doesn't know what the other is doing.
Do good works so that the one hand doesn't notice what the other is doing.

The important change is from know to notice.

What are some things you do that you don't notice?  Breathing, blinking, digesting, etc.  These are things that your body does automatically without you having to make a conscious effort to do them.  There are other things, however, that you don't notice until you can't do them.  Using your toes to keep your balance; bending your fingers to grasp something; moving your legs to walk from one place to another; opening and closing your jaw to break up your food; etc.  These are things that you can do consciously, but often don't actually think that much about them.

Imagine if doing good works was like that.  Imagine if doing good works was so much a part of your life that you didn't even notice you were doing it.  Imagine if it were just second nature like extending one leg after the other hits the ground.  Imagine if even if your left hand knew what your right hand was doing, it didn't think about it, because that was a part of it's typical actions.

What would the world be like if doing good works was second nature?

Just something to chew on.

Rehumanizing the Christ Part II

I have long felt that the world as a whole has lost Jesus's human identity almost completely, but I was never entirely sure why.  I came to a realization on this front the other day during the discussion following a Bible study:

The Bible is INCREDIBLY dry!

The Bible doesn't spend a lot of time on character development.  And why should it?  It's original purpose was not to be a dramatic work, but a series of attempts to record pieces of history.  Because, as we all know, the Bible is 100% unadulterated fact and everything that happened happened exactly as recorded in the Bible.  [ACHOO!]

Seriously, though, the Bible spends all of its time recording events and virtually none of its time describing the people involved.  It tells you just enough about these people to explain the events.  It does not help you understand anything about these people's personalities.  This would really not be such a bad thing.  In fact, it could be a really wonderful thing and allow you to look at it from lots of different perspectives.  Unfortunately, society as a whole has no imagination.  Because of society's unimaginative nature when it comes to reading the Bible, we have lost the humanity of not only Christ, but of virtually all the characters involved in the Bible.

When I say we've lost the humanity of Biblical characters, I don't mean we believe they're something other than human.  I don't mean we have deified them or anything like that.  What I do mean is that they have lost their complexity.  The good guys are good, and the bad guys are bad.  End of story.  The good guys have no ulterior motives than the will of God, and the bad guys want nothing more than to destroy God's people.  I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you that real people don't work like that.

With this revelation in mind, I have come to the conclusion that my original focus for "Rehumanizing the Christ" was too narrow.  Before I can get you to accept a human Christ, I believe I'm going to have to get you to accept the humanity of other people in the Bible.  Therefore, my next entries in this little "series" will be focused on rehumanizing some of the other figures in the Bible.  My hope is not for you to accept what I'm telling you in these to be the only way you look at these characters.  My hope is that you will get a taste of what these characters could have been like and to explore the possibilities that this opens up.

In the Bible study that led to my revelation, we were discussing the story of Jacob and Esau.  For those of you who don't remember the story, the part I'm going to be talking about comes from Genesis 25 and 27:

"Isaac married Rebekah.  At some point after that, Rebekah got pregnant.  She was extremely uncomfortable with the pregnancy and was very worried about it.  God told her that she would have twins and that they were already fighting and that the older would serve the younger.  Esau was born and was quickly followed by Jacob.  The two grew up, and Esau became an outdoorsy person and Isaac's favorite while Jacob became a more . . . domestic person and Rebekah's favorite (a mama's boy).  At some point, Jacob managed to get Esau to trade him his birthright for some soup.  Later on, with a TON of guidance and assistance from Rebekah, Jacob managed also to steal the blessing of the firstborn as well."  Genesis 25, 27 (MXPB)

What really got the post-study discussion going was the fact that as we were talking about the story during Bible study, everyone's motives were so pure.  I mean, love and obedience to God's will are obviously the driving forces in this story, right?  [ACHOO!]  The story of Jacob and Esau is a story of plotting, betrayal, and revenge.  I do not believe for a second that the only driving forces in the story were love and obedience.

What really drove me nuts about the Bible study was everyone's portrayal of Rebekah.  And that, dear readers, is why today's focus is:

REHUMANIZING REBEKAH

During Bible study, everyone kept coming back to Rebekah as a kind and loving motherly figure and a sort of prophetess.  All she wanted was to protect her child and fulfill God's plan in the lives of her sons.  [ACHOO!  My allergies are really bothering me today!]

Let's look at humans around you first.

Think about the people in your life.  Think about people on the news.  Think about humanity as a whole.  Generally speaking, we are self-serving creatures.  We lie, cheat, and steal to get to the top.  Many people will, and have, stab their own family and friends in the back in order to move up in the world.  This, dear children, is part of being human.  All of our motives are not nice.  Think about the things you did throughout today.  Were there times when you were self-serving?  Were there times when you did something you knew would cause problems for someone else?  Were there more times that you did self-serving things or things that would improve the lives of others?

There is a definite dark side to being human.

With that in mind, let's add some negative traits to Rebekah.  Let's really develop her side of the story and turn her into a character that you can believe.  That's the goal here, right?

Rebekah was power hungry.

Women in biblical times had virtually no power on their own.  Their only real chance of getting power was to make connections with powerful men.  This meant that they had to marry well, but it also meant that they had to raise their sons well.  Not only did they have to raise their sons in such a way that they would be powerful men, but since this powerful man would be in charge of their fate some day, they had to make sure that their sons cared enough to take care of them.

Rebekah was forewarned by God that she would have two sons and that the younger would be more powerful.  Do you think she's going to have information like that and not act on it?  No!  As the two boys grew up, Isaac, knowing full well that as the firstborn, Esau would be in charge of the family, took Esau under his wing and taught him what he believed it would take to run the family.  Rebekah, knowing full well that because of God's prophecy, Jacob would be more powerful, took Jacob under her wing.  By doing this, she ensured that when Jacob became powerful, she would be better taken care of because it was she that loved him when he was nothing.

Rebekah was impatient.

As the two boys grew up, Rebekah didn't see the results of God's words to her as quickly as she hoped.  She thought that it would be obvious early on that Jacob was more powerful, but that was not the case.  So she decided that she would hurry things along.  She did this by teaching Jacob what he would need.

She taught Jacob what it would take to claim the power in the family.  She taught him (and probably almost brainwashed him) about birthrights and blessings.  She taught him that not only were these things important and automatically the rights of the firstborn, but that they could be taken.  She also taught him some domestic arts such as cooking which would come in handy later on.  At the same time, she started planning, which leads me right into my next point.

Rebekah was manipulative.

I would like to take a moment to pause the story and look at the actual text for a moment.  Most scholars will tell you that the reason Esau traded his birthright was because in Genesis 25:34, it says "Esau despised his birthright."  I would like to point out that it does not say this until after the birthright was stolen and then, at least in the NIV, it says "SO Esau despised his birthright."  To me, this says that he despised it because it had been stolen from him.

Coming back to the characters and story, Isaac took for granted that Esau would receive the birthright and blessing.  Therefore, unlike Rebekah with Jacob, he did not see the point in teaching Esau what these things meant early in his life.  Rebekah took advantage of this.  She waited until Esau was at a weak point and then had Jacob implement her plan.

While they were still rather young, Esau came in from hunting.  He knew that Jacob always made the best food, so he went straight to his tent.  As he expected, Jacob had made a soup that smelled delicious.  Esau insisted on having some.  Jacob, per his mother's instructions, offered some soup in exchange for his birthright.  Esau, not understanding the importance of his birthright, saw the soup as being worth much more and eagerly took the deal.  Thus, the first part of Rebekah's plan succeeded.

The next part of the plot happened years later when Isaac was old, blind and about to die.  This plan is much more elaborate and much better detailed in chapter 27.  I highly recommend reading it, because I'm not going to go into it here.  Rebekah's involvement in that deception are completely obvious.  Long story short, Rebekah's plan succeeds and Jacob gets the blessing also.



Through this elegant and elaborate plot, Rebekah ensured that she was most loved by the more powerful son.  You could easily argue that she took Jacob under wing out of love.  You could easily argue that Jacob took the birthright of his own accord and that she helped him steal the blessing in order to fulfill the will of God.  Rebekah can be seen as a loving, nurturing mother and servant of God.  However, personally, I find it much easier to believe she was a lying manipulative power seeker.

I don't want you to leave here thinking that everything I wrote here is true.  Most of what I have written here has little basis in scripture and a ton of basis in imagination.  As I said earlier, my goal is not to convince you that this is how these people were.  My goal is to get you to start looking at them as actual people.  This includes looking at possible darker motives.

Not everyone's a good guy.

My Own Advice

I metaphorically banged my head against the blank page on which I was supposed to write today's post for nearly an hour trying to decide what to write about.  It seems, however, like everything I thought of would simply be a rehash of something I've already written.

That's when I started to realize the trend.

My best friend asked me about yesterday's post.  His question was whether or not I took my own "someday advice" with regard to a particular issue.  My honest answer was no.

I then did what I normally do.  I spent an unhealthy amount of time considering the philosophical ramifications of that statement.  I rarely take my own advice.  In fact, one could argue that the main person for whom I am writing that advice is myself.  Often times when I'm posting stuff talking about how people "should" act or live their life or something like that, I'm posting about things I would like to change about myself.

And my hope is that someday, I'll make those changes.  It seems I'm still haunted by that awful word.

I have to believe, however, that if I'm going through something or want to change something about myself, someone else out there is feeling the same way.  If you then apply the ultimately circular logic of all my arguments, there are other people out there that don't follow their own advice.  The question you have to ask yourself is very simple:  Do you?

When you tell someone that there is something they should do, are you actively trying to do that as well?  Here's the bigger question:  Does the fact that I often don't follow my own advice call the validity of that advice into question?

People have been debating that question for centuries.  Does a serial killer have any right to tell you not to hurt someone?  Is the town gossip a credible person to tell you that spreading rumors is wrong?  Does the fact that it is the town gossip telling you this mean that spreading rumors isn't wrong?

Ultimately, my view on the subject is something like this:

Many coaches used to be good players.  However, as the old saying goes, those who can't do teach.  I have met many a coach that cannot do the things they tell their players to do.  How many cross country coaches ride bikes along the course they force their runners to run?  How many lineman coaches could even get in a three-point stance?  Often, from what I've seen, some of the best coaches are people that can't necessarily do the thing themselves.  However, they do understand what it takes to do it.  They may not be able to shoot a three pointer, but they can tell you how.  Does the fact that someone can't lift a thousand pounds call into credibility the method by which they show others to lift?  Personally, I don't think so.

Obviously, since I'm giving the advice, I know how to make the changes I wish to make.  So why can't I make them?

I'm too damn comfortable.

How many times have you been sitting on a couch and thought, "Man, some chips would be awesome right about now!  But I'm way too comfortable to get up and go get them.  If I get up, even if I make it all the way to the kitchen and back, I won't be able to get back into this same comfy position!  There's no way!"

Ok, maybe I'm the only one who actually thinks through it that much, but I know I'm not the only one who refuses to change their situation, even in a positive way, because they are too comfortable with the way things are.

"Eventually, someone will walk by, and I can ask them to get me chips.  Then I won't have to get uncomfortable and I still get the chips!"

"Someday, I'll be able to make those changes without leaving my comfort zone!"

Someday.

I'm haunted by that awful word.

Someday

As I was rereading this post, I couldn't help but think of this song:

If Today Was Your Last Day

I was reading an interesting article/list-type thing.  In the interest of full disclosure, here's the page:

Life's Instructions

I found most of these little pieces of advice to be very helpful.  I found myself on more than one of them thinking to myself, "I would love to do that someday."  That's when I realized I say that a lot.  Also, I doubt if I'm the only one.  I've heard it from other people:

• "I'll go visit that place someday."
• "I'll write a novel someday."
• "I'll be on TV someday."
• "I'll tell that person how I really feel someday."
• "I'll follow my dreams someday."

I've found myself wondering quite a bit lately:  What if Someday was today?

Think about it.  Think back to all of the times you've ever said that you would do something someday.  What if you did all of those things today?  How great would it be if you were able to say and do all the things you've been putting off?  What if you got to visit that place?  What if you wrote that novel?  What if you made it on TV?  What if that person knew how you fell?  What if you were to follow your dreams?

Here's the better question:  What's holding you back?

I can tell you the thing that holds me back from doing the things that I say I will do someday is fear.  I'm afraid of the consequences of doing those things.  What if I run out of money because of this silly little thing?  What if that person doesn't feel the same way?  What if I fail?

Here's where my favorite question comes in:  So what if you fail?

I find myself haunted by the word someday.  Most of us think of it as some day way off in the future.  It's a day when we no longer have to worry about the consequences.

What if today is your last day?

What if Someday was today?

Three Simple Words

Obviously I'm not quite back into the rhythm of writing this every night.  I can assure you I will be doing my best to get back into the swing of things.  I cannot, however, assure you that these attempts will have any effect.

In the interest of giving you something to think about, I have three simple words on which you can dwell for days to come:

E.T. is Jesus.

It may sound ridiculous and crazy at first glance, but watch the movie again.  It makes sense.

Here are some things to think about as you watch E.T. and look for his messianic parallels:

• arrival from another world
• taken in by human family
• knowledge of universe
• healing powers
• death at the hands of government
• resurrection
• return to the world from which he came
• promise that he'll be "right here" [pointing at heart]

Still don't believe me?  Check out these images:

E.T. is Jesus.

Just something to think about.

Key Masters for Christ

I'm back everyone!!!

I got back from an awesome summer at camp about two weeks ago.  I realize I did a terrible job of posting over the summer, but I assure you, it was because I was working hard during the weeks and was completely and utterly exhausted on the weekends.  I had lots of fun and adventures that I may or may not tell you about, but now that I'm starting to get my feet back on planet Earth, I should be posting more often.

One thing about camp that's important to know is that it is very easy to tell who's got authority.  You can hear it in their steps as they walk up, and you can see it clear as day when they're in front of you.  This is because everyone with authority at camp has two things:  keys and a radio.  When you hear that jingling when they walk or that staticky sort of buzz from the radio, you know they're important.  When you see them with the radio on their hip or with keys dangling from their lanyard, you know they're in charge.

I often said over the summer that the real goal of the job is to get keys and a radio.  That's when you've reached a whole new bracket of awesomeness.

You want to know what's exciting that I just realized this week?  We've all already got keys and a radio!

In church on Sunday, the reading was from Matthew 16.  This is the passages where Peter acknowledges Jesus as the messiah and Jesus gets all excited and talks about building a church on his rock hard skull or something like that.  Anyway, what struck me as interesting was verse 19, just after all the rock stuff:

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."  Matthew 16:19 (NIV)

Now this passage (like so many others) has been interpreted many different ways.  Most often it is used in the context of Peter essentially being installed as the first pope.  This would imply that these keys to the kingdom are essentially giving the pope power over heaven and earth and ultimately gives credibility to papal bull and all that . . . [ahem] . . . stuff.  Martin Luther called this the Office of the Keys.  I'm pretty sure if you asked most Lutherans about the Office of the Keys, they would have no idea what you were talking about. 

I will be following the idea that these keys to the kingdom are available to anyone who wants them.  If you can't accept that premise, fine.  Accept that you don't have keys and move on to the part about the radio.  You just won't get to jingle when you walk.

At camp, people are given keys for a very simple reason:  to open things.  Most of the things that are locked up are either dangerous or valuable and, therefore, cannot be trusted to just anyone.  Key Masters at camp are usually more than willing to open just about anything you could want.  In fact, like I said earlier, the reason they have keys is to open things.  It's simply safer to have those things locked up.

If you have been given the keys to the kingdom, what are you supposed to do with them?  Open things!

Usually this passage is used in reference to forgiveness.  If that's the interpretation you want to take, that's fine.  You get to open people up to God so that they can let their sins lose and be free from them.  If you want to take it as the keys to heaven, that's fine.  You get to open the gates of heaven for people by opening their eyes and helping them see God's love.  It doesn't matter so much if your keys open people's eyes, their hearts, or the gates of heaven itself, the purpose of keys is to open things and make others' lives better!

Most Key Masters at camp (I only say most to leave room for some possibility I haven't thought of.  I really think this applies to all of them.) also have a radio.  A radio is important at camp because it means that you are able to communicate with other people without having to go and look for them.  Typically, in my experience, radios are used by people that are lower on the chain of command to ask advice or assistance from someone higher on the chain of command.  And typically, radios are used by people higher on the chain of command to give a job or make a request of someone lower on the chain of command.  I hope that made sense.

Let's think about this.  What in our faith lives sounds like a radio.  It allows you to communicate as though the person is right there . . . an underling asks advice and assistance from a superior . . . a superior gives jobs to and make requests of an underling . . . if you haven't figured it out yet, let me help you:

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."  Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV)

Prayer is you radio!

You can call God and talk to him anytime as if he's right there.  You can ask him for advice or assistance.  However, just like with the keys, it is important to share your radio.  At camp, people with a radio are always willing to help those without a radio by calling people for them.  Since God offers everyone a radio, the important thing for you to do is to help them learn how to use it.

Key Masters, wielding their keys and radios like a boss, are some of the most helpful people at camp.  They have the tools to help you in ways others don't, but also have the responsibility to use those tools.  In the same way, you, a Key Master for Christ, have the tools for a relationship with God and eternal life with him.  However, you also have the responsibility to equip others with those tools.

Open doors for people.  Help them talk to their Superior.  Use those awesome, powerful tools that put you in a whole new bracket of awesomeness.

Use your keys and radio.