I'm Not Ignoring You

There is a distinction I think I need to make.

I love you. I care about you deeply. I think you are a fantastic person and want to talk to you and spend time with you.

But it hurts.

Being with you is great. I love it. It's infinitely better than spending time alone. If I thought that us spending time together would happen regularly, I would commit to that. Unfortunately, life sucks and you're far away. Once we're done hanging out for whatever period of time, I get to go right back to my little world all by myself. That's what's so painful.

Every time I get put back in the toy box, it hurts a little more than the last.

I've been alone for quite a while now, and experience during that time has taught me that we will be together for a short time, then go right back to not acknowledging each other's existence except with the occasional like on Facebook.

It hurts a little less to just stay in the box.

What's worse? A prison you're convinced you won't escape from that has no view of the outside world or a prison you're convinced you won't escape from with a single tiny window just out of view.

You're not unique here. Everyone's getting the same reaction from me right now.

I'm not ignoring you.

I'm ignoring everyone.

I'm sorry.





Please don't give up on me yet.